Nerdapolooza!

I went to a Sci-Fi convention with a friend and our boys. It was SO crowded! I came out of there thinking "my elbows must be too big, because they were bumping into everyone." My friend's son was stopped about 1/2 a dozen times to have his picture taken for being dressed up like Boba Fett. He was soooo cute!

There was the autograph section with pudgy guards to keep us regular folk out (you had to buy a special "I'm allowed to see the washed-up talent" pass - which I didn't buy), a comic book section and a toy section. Needless to say, we spent most of our time in the toy section. My son picked out what he wanted to buy and they were like "cash only." I've had the same $4 in my wallet for about 3months. I NEVER use cash. My friend had to spot me $10 on entry because I didn't have enough money (let's go dutch. oops, I "forgot" my wallet...). Apparently, I'm the only person in the whole nerdiverse who doesn't know that these are cash-only under-the-table I'm-not-reporting-this-on-my-taxes kinds of transactions.

I was like "Do you take credit cards?"
he was all "are you a narc?"
and I was like "Do I look like a narc?"
and he was all "what do you weigh? 160? 165? Only narcs come in here weighing less than 220."
"What if I am a woman?" - I'm betting he's never seen a woman except for his mother. How would they know if I was or not? I'm dainty in this crowd.
"Right. the women are the ones weighing 220."

$8 in transaction fees later, I'm paying in cash, sporting my "I"m with n00b -->" T shirt and guiding a 1/2 size jedi through this thing like a full time dork.

My son's toy choice seemed pretty cool at first. He likes Clone Troopers because they're trained to fight from birth and have cool code names like "Scorch," "Matchstick," and "Rudder." He bought one titled "Airbourne Trooper." Who has a rife, a gun, removable helmet, blast armor and a satchel for explosives. Sounds cool, right? Check him out:




Look at that purse and skirt! ZOMG?!?! What's his code name? Lipstick?

"All units report in"
"Buzz Saw. Ready."
"Stone. Checking in"
"Fixer. Good to go."
"Lipstick. Fab-U-lous!"

I got called a creep today.

"Keep it to yourself Creep-O! This is a house of Gawd!" I guess she called me "creep-O" because calling me a "creep" at church wouldn't be very Christian. OK, so I started at the end. Let me back up.

I started this new mouthwash today and it tasted fantastic! I mean the best mouthwash I've ever tasted. Including that bubble gum mouthwash I had as a kid. At lunch I was thinking "I can have water, milk, orange juice or...mouthwash!" it was so good. It was purple so I was expected cough-syrup grape flavor, but man was I wrong! Target sells it and it's mint-eucalyptus. I've had mint plenty, so I'm guessing it's the eucalyptus. No wonder that's all Koala's eat! It's delicious!

I'm sitting in church and the pastor's talking about the condition of people's souls eternal consequences or somesuch, and all I'm thinking is "My god, this mouthwash tastes good on my teeth." I'm smacking my lips and rubbing my tongue over my gums and making mouth noises to the distraction of the people sitting next to me.

After the service, in the lobby a marginally attractive woman approaches me with a determined look on her face. My church is shaped like an amphitheater and I sit on one end and I recognize her as a regular sitter on the opposite end. I smile because that's what you're supposed to do at church, and she says "Keep it to yourself, Creep-O! This is a house of Gawd!" then marches off in righteous indignation. It's then that I realize that apparently, it's a come-on to look in someone's general direction and lick your teeth and lips.

Man's man video...kind of

Brandon Flowers is the lead singer for the Killers. In his video, he's incorporated explosions, trucks, ninjas and Charlize Theron. Pretty much the perfect man-video. Check for yourself:



Here's another song that I hope does well. No ninjas, but I love the cadence the lead singer uses:

Glasses for Giants

My son recently got the news that he'll need to wear glasses all the time. When I was told that, I felt like I was being forced into nerdom. However, my son has no self-esteem issues. He's picked out glasses with flames running down the earpieces. Today he said:

Son: I like these glasses.
Raesh: I do too. They make you look tough.
Son: When I put them on, everything looks smaller.
Raesh: When you put them on, you grow HUGE like a giant! Everything looks smaller because everything *is* smaller!

We then wrestled on the bed with his giant-powered magic spectacles.

Lepidoptera

Sometimes I forget you’re just an insect,
Fragile and delicate with the slightest flutter of flight.
I don’t reminisce about your pupa –
Full of earth and consumption.
All I see is color and elegance
When your erratic aerials
Delight my eyes.
Through you I hope sometimes God
Might forget I’m just a human.

Grocery Store

Raesh: We've got Turkey Ham, Turkey Beef and Turkey Bacon.
Son: Turkey can be anything!
Raesh: It's O.K., Turkey, you don't have to try so hard. Just be yourself.
Son: We love you just the way you are.
*giggling*
Son: That's something Jim Gaffigan would say.

Thrice Holy

"Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come." - Rev 4:8

The word for "holy" in Hebrew means, literally "set apart." Specifically set apart for religious use. However, the root word evolved to be richer and more meaningful. The implication developed beyond a separation from the world to "different", "alien" or "other." God is not bound by the world or its influences. He does not sleep, worry about the mortgage, become motivated by sex, feel inferior, strive to improve his status or try to find meaning. We humans avoid pain, exploit those weaker than us, worry about death, create hierarchies, garner respect and take things for granted. God does none of these. He is different than us.

Not just different, though. In English, when we want to compare something we add an "-er" to the adjective. If it's the most we add an "-est.": Jack Black is funnier than Adam Sandler, but Will Ferrell is the funniest actor. In Hebrew, they repeated the word. The Passover is holy. The temple's back room is holy holy (called the Holy of Holies). God is holy holy holy.

God is three times separated from us. We conceptualize him with finite minds and limited lifespans. We see him through a glass darkly. Our perception is so limited, God had to send us a Son so that we would have a glimpse of the Kingdom of Heaven's precepts. There is a religious philosophy that states the entirety of Scripture is an anthropomorphism - like using an embedded video of a tesseract to "show" the 4th dimension in a 3 dimensional world. Except that's only one degree of separation from our dimension. Can you concieve of a 5th Dimension at two degrees? A 6th at three degrees of separation?

God is the not-like-us-est being in the universe. And it disturbs me when someone says with absolute confidence they know Him. When I hear that, I want to say "I once thought as you did. Then God changed my mind."