Chinese Srix Frags

Friday, Nov. 27

Another day where you either laugh at yourself or seethe. This resort is a sucktastic example of halfassism. Maybe when construction is complete, they'll have things like working escalators (the non-functional ones are everywhere for the convenience of the guests) and operational rides (we got to go on one in the whole place).

My son's appetite is back and there's a Pizza Hut at the resort. Pepperoni Pizza! We sat down and there's only one kind of "Party Pizza" - no description. But it's called "Party Pizza" so it's got to be good, right? umm...not so much. A party pizza has the same crust you're used to, but instead of tomato sauce they put on an oyster/BBQ sauce. Add on the cheese and then cut the square pizza into nine slices. The toppings are corn, carrots and bell peppers. On each slice is a special topping - either shrimp wrapped in seaweed or scallops on chinese broccoli or clam in a bed of bean curd. Authentic Italian pies need not apply, we're catering to a distinctly non-American palate.

I've decided the Chinese must like this resort because they can't get travel visas. They have fake Interlaken so they can see pseudo-German architecture. They go to the fake Grand Canyon (man made) because no way will the Chinese government allow its people to come to the U.S. They should really finish building the place before they allow tourists in.

On the funny side, I was a superstar at this place. All these schoolchildren where there and were very enthusiastic about seeing a Westerner. They would wave and giggle and some would say "Herro!" I passed by a whole herd of them, giving them high-fives and smiling even though it may make me look foolish to the adults.